Tina

i am free no longer. it is a new and good start because of the coming long-term Christmas holiday. really, we do not have very formal Christmas off day in China. we celebrate and tend to learn the way of western people do from Christmas card to Christmas dinner. how many know that what the real meaning of this holiday although we always speak to each other 'Merry Christmas' including me. actually we do not know.

we say 'Happy New Year', we say' Happy Mid-autumn Festival' and we know clearly what the wishes and pleasure it contains. people do the things they do not know and do not understand, but they do.

we might be more happy if sometimes we just choose to be without thinking because there are so many things we have to face while you are opening your eyes. i think i can do as well. at least in this term period.

They call it 'Christmas Cactus'. it suddenly let me miss the one i had in shanghai garden...

although i do not know whether it is the process of waiting for the blooming or fading, although i do not know what the final destiny it would has, i decide to bring it to my home, to be one of my dependence.

not only the reason that every calyx contains my hopes and wishes, and the continuous vitality that i can feel.

i am getting confused that why i need to come here in the most of time.....food, cold weather condition and some friends who have never been practiced society...i learn nothing except for lots of theories and theories again and again...

walking on the street, alone, even no feeling that i am in the broad. wild wind is blowing my face, my neck, i tend to walk faster and faster in order to go away....

anything can make me excited? only such a little bit heart beaten? no, nothing. a lake, always, in my mind.

still walking, alone, it seems that everything happens merely likes a performance, and each of us plays so wonderful and fantastic....but, where am i?.....